I knew this day would come, the day where I attempt to update my blog with over a months worth of life all in one post. I knew it the day I created my blog that there would come a time where I would forget all about it and never update until randomly I decide to procrastinate on something else and write this pathetic attempt at an update.
So, it’s been awhile… started school again. That’s probably where I should start I suppose. It’s my senior year in college. In May I will graduate with my Bachelor of English. My concentration is Literary Studies, which means I know many things about literature but am woefully unprepared to be a working, productive member of society. My head is constantly in the clouds and I dream of far of worlds that are far better than this. Or at the very least Armageddon/Post-Apocalyptic worlds where humanity is better than humanity is now and where people are not afraid to love each other and show it.
At any rate, I thought I had to take five classes this term in order to take four my last semester to get the total number of credits to the amount needed for graduation. I was wrong. I had changed my schedule about five different times since I had last spoken to my advisor so I thought it would be prudent to pay her another visit. She informed me that I actually only need to take three classes this term and three my last semester in order to graduate. I thankfully dropped two of my classes and kept only three. I have classes everyday starting at noon for an hour and 15 minutes. On Monday’s I also have a 3-hour night class from 6-9 pm. I’m taking “Victorian Literature,” “The American Novel,” and “20/21 Century Global Literature in English.” The “in English” means that the global literature is written in the English language, i.e. the works have been translated.
I’m quite happy with my schedule. I have two of my all time favorite professors from the English department for Victorian and American Novel, which makes it even more fun than it normally would. I also have my good friends Joe (Arbitrary Ponderings of an Average Joe) and Christine W. in my Victorian class. Joe is also in my American Novel class as he needs to fill up on elective credits for his degree and of course, English is the logical choice since he should have gotten an English degree in the first place.
As in high school during my senior year, I’ve discovered I’ve once again gone through a period of maturity and growth. Although in some ways, I feel as if I have gone backwards in the maturity area as well. I find myself easily annoyed by people. I’m not sure how much of this is me, and how much of this is people have changed because of various situations outside their control, but regardless, things and habits that previously have not bothered me seem to enrage me.
It seems to be that people all of a sudden are much more prone to “drama” and “stress” than ever before. That they have all of a sudden become insecure and sensitive when before no such behavior or personality traits existed. It is true that the little circle of friends whom I hang out with on campus has been given somewhat of a shock during the first week of classes.
We have effectively been evicted from our clubhouse and our superpowers have been taken away. I have a feeling my fellow students and friends have not yet realized that this is, for nearly all of us, our Senior Year. I use capitals for a reason. No longer can you be happy with that B- in a class. This is the last chance you have to boost up that GPA. GPA is important not only for Graduate schools, but also for if you will receive those coveted honor cords for the graduation ceremony. It is also our last chance to be “college students.” What makes college great is that you are adults. No one can tell you what to do, not even the professors. You can make your own choices. If you don’t want to go to class, you don’t have to and no one will care because “you’re an adult, it’s your money, it’s your grade, do what you want.” However, at the same time, you are not a “full” adult. You don’t have ALL the bills (although you may have a few) that your parents do, you don’t have to work necessarily, and you have much more free time than you ever will again.
My fellow students seem to still be rather passive about their grades. I have never seen one of my friends ever do their homework. They seem not to care that the classes they are in now are the last classes they will ever take or second to last set of classes. They seem to be in denial about the reality of what happens to them after that graduation ceremony. In the abstract, they all say they know it. However, evidence of them thinking about it has not yet been seen. I have seen none of my friends who are graduating in December, even looking at jobs. Nor have I heard or seen them writing a resume. They all appear to be waiting for after December to start. I don’t understand.
I also, don’t understand why all of a sudden relationships and situations are now being turned into “drama” with lots of “she said” and “he said.” Are we not adults? Seriously? We are going to allow drama into our lives when we have these last few precious moments of college left? We are going to let drama stress us out when we should be focusing on our classes?
Whenever someone begins to talk about this drama or new drama or whatever, it makes me want to roll my eyes and punch them in the face. Seriously! Get over it! Stop obsessing over petty crap! This is the time to put your head down and charge forward not get yourself distracted by petty middle school crap!
*Sigh*
I suppose that is why I haven’t updated. I have not had the time really with homework, friends, and family. However, the main reason, is that merely showing my frustration about “drama” is now most likely going to cause more “drama.” -__-;;; It’s a Catch 22. All well…
…I’m going to go back to my books and my fantastical world of make believe. Peace.
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